Eganville – If water levels in the Bonnechere River were higher than normal Friday afternoon, it wasn’t from the rain showers.

Instead, it might have been tears flowing out of the Legion Hall, down the hill on Veteran’s Way, across John Street and into the river behind the former home of Steve and Jackie Agnew.

The hall was filled to overflowing as people from all across the Ottawa Valley and beyond came to honour the life of Steve Agnew and to mourn his untimely and tragic death in a house fire in Eganville early on the morning of Friday, August 23. The hall could not accommodate everyone who turned out for the memorial service, and many people stood outside.

There wasn’t a dry eye in the audience made up of people of all ages and representing all walks of life as Mr. Agnew was remembered for his musical talents and his willingness to share them over several decades of his life, and the love for his family and his community.

The ceremony was a blend of several well-chosen songs, A Way Down the River, sung by Bailey Rogers; Tanya Kutschke’s rendition of Time After Time; Bailey and her dad and Mr. Agnew’s best friend, Rick Rogers, singing The Dance. Chloe Virgin, a young woman from Haley who had sung many times with Mr. Agnew, sang In The Arms of An Angel, and Clint Degarie of Golden Lake concluded the service portion of the celebration singing Vince Gill’s Go Rest High Upon A Mountain.

There were heart-wrenching tributes, sprinkled with humour and moments of reflection. His sister, Jenn Good, spoke about her brother’s gift of music and his humility.

“When you miss someone as beautiful as my brother, it is deep-rooted and all-encompassing,” she said. “I remember the other day there was this one gift I got for him from my trip out east and I forgot to give it to him. It was a comfort kind of pocket thing, and I have it here.

“On one side is a music note and on the other side it says ‘listen’. The goal was he could carry it and when the hard times got too much, he could rub it in his pocket and know he would be okay. Now I’m going to give it to my other brother (Rob) for the very same reason.”

She said she thought about what her brother would want everyone to know because he could never say it because he was so humble and a bit shy. So, she compiled the following:

“I want you to love others without the need for it in return. I’m too humble to tell anyone the kindness that I give others.

“My heart is full only of the best things. You will struggle and through that struggle, you need to transform every ounce of pain into love and keep people close because they will carry you.

“Don’t let go of yourself because no matter what, the world needs you in it.

“Sing, even if you can’t, because music is the way the soul speaks, and write if you have it in you.

“And finally, listen to the peace and the love that comes from other’s kindness. Be thankful and don’t ever stop listening.”

Ms. Good said she had one other gift to share with everyone, heart-shaped eyeglasses in various colours.

“These are my grieving glasses and I put them on on day one of this journey,” she said. “I have been telling family and friends I may have them on for three to six months.”

 She said heart-shaped glasses were the perfect symbol for her brother because he accepted everyone and they would remind everyone of his big heart.

Music Followed Him Through Life
In her eulogy, sister-in-law Lisa Agnew shared Mr. Agnew’s musical journey and talked about the importance of family to him. She said if one grew up in the Ottawa Valley, they grew up listening to his music.

“I met Steve about 30 years ago and I am not too proud to admit that I was definitely a groupie,” she said. “I was a huge fan because the music was great and so was Steve’s singing.”

When she met him, he was the front man for Steve Agnew and Heart of the Country, playing alongside his brother, Rob, who she would later marry, and others, performing across the Valley and in other parts of Ontario. When the band went their separate ways, the Agnew brothers continued to play for several more years before taking a break, but it wasn’t long before Steve was playing again. He continued to write music and recorded several songs, both on his own and with Chris Malone in their band Wyldcard.

“Most recently Steve could be found on stages around the Valley with his good friends, Rick Rogers and John Park Wheeler,” she said.

Many people in the Valley got married with Mr. Agnew playing at their wedding either with the band or just him singing at the ceremony, she said.

“Heading to Mac’s Ce-Dar-Est to watch the band on the weekend was a regular occurrence. The dance floor would be filled, and the bar would be standing-room only most nights they played.

“When Jenny turned 16, she wanted her brothers to play at her party because she loved watching them on stage and their incredible chemistry. When she found out they were booked at Mac’s and she wasn’t old enough to attend, she was so disappointed that she didn’t want a party. With Karen Duchene’s help, we arranged with Jack and Lorraine MacDonald to surprise her with a Sweet 16 at Mac’s, so the boys could play for her. She had a blast with her friends, showing why Steve loved where he came from and how our community comes together to make special moments even more memorable.

“It would be years later that we found out this was the night Steve had met Jackie for the first time. Many years would pass before their paths crossed again and they would end up together.”

She said he had waited a long time to find the love of his life and while it may have been a broken road that led them to each other, their love story was special and their bond was beautiful.

“They loved each other with their whole hearts and were truly each other’s best friends,” she said. “We are so grateful that Steve was loved so fully and incredibly by you, Jackie. You cared for him every step of the way through hard times and great times.”

She said Mr. Agnew weathered more than his share of hardships and while that would have left many people jaded and angry with the world, it never changed how kind and caring he was. It never changed his genuine smile or his concern and compassion for others.

“Even when he was going through so much himself, he never wanted to let others down and was always there to help in any way he could,” she noted.

He could also be an impulsive person, and she recalled one story that lightened the mood in the hall. Jackie asked him about redoing the kitchen and wanted to talk about ideas on how they could make it nicer and a little more functional.

“Jackie came home from work that night and Steve had ripped out all the upper cabinets and all the countertops,” she shared. “It was Thanksgiving weekend, and Jackie was hosting the entire family for Thanksgiving dinner. She couldn’t believe it and was in a panic about how she was going to host Thanksgiving saying ‘I have no counter tops’. But Steve wasn’t phased at all and he calmly replied, ‘we will just put a little plywood down and it will be fine’.”

She also noted Steve’s special bond with each one of his nieces and nephews. To everyone, he was a musician known for his kindness, but to his family he was Tevie and they loved him beyond measure, she said.

His Attributes

The poignant service was presided over by Life Cycle Celebrant Patti Koeslag of Carleton Place.

She said Mr. Agnew was so many things to so many people.

“He was a family man so much in love with Jackie and such a great Dad to Emily and Stepdad to Bree and Andy. So many of you have witnessed Steve and Jackie’s unique relationship and deep bonds.”

She said he also cared deeply about his employees – he was the owner of Agnew Renovations — and was always there to help a friend, neighbour or anyone in the community.

“He was born a musician and played by ear and wrote many wonderful songs,” she said. “Jackie will tell you it was more than once she was woken up in the middle of the night to listen to something he had written. Often, they would be watching television, and he would ask her to pause it while he went and tried a few lines of a new song. Robbie and Jenn also were often sounding boards for his ideas and tunes and he and Rick Rogers and Jeff Nystrom were working on Steve’s album when he died too soon.” 

Looking out at the crowd, Ms. Koeslag said she could see a kaleidoscope of Steve’s life.

“Each of you carry a piece of his story. Each of you had a unique relationship with Steve and your own memories of his kindness, generosity, and willingness to help.

“Each of you here I am sure have a memory that makes you smile if not laugh out loud.

And when you bring them all together it makes such a beautiful picture of Steve’s life – just like a kaleidoscope.”

The celebration of life was followed by a celebration of music with many of Mr. Agnew’s long-time music friends taking turns on the stage to pay tribute to him.

Mr. Agnew was the son of the late Dan and Sharon (Kargus). He was predeceased by his twin brother, Stuart, at birth and more recently his daughter. He leaves behind his wife, stepchildren, siblings and their spouses, and his nieces and nephews, Carson, Darcey, Brooke, Everton and Gracie. He is survived by several aunts and uncles and cousins.

Mr. Agnew was 55 years old.